Tom: A
NOTE: * at the start of a line indicates the caller's voice
@ at the start of a line indicates the operator's voice
# at the start of a line indicates the Telecom worker's voice
$ at the start of a line indicates the receptionist's voice
A
* Hello operator, I'd like to make a call.
A E
* Can I have four double seven three one zero four?
A D
@ I'm sorry, sir, could you repeat that number once again?
E A
* Four double seven three one zero four, did ya get it then?
A
@ Could you speak a little slower - four double seven's all I got.
A E
* Three one zero four, are you bloody deaf or what?
A D
@ Look, I got the third bit, I just can't get the last.
E A
* Well stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse!
D A
* Stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse,
B E
* You're supposed to fuckin' help not make it fuckin' hard,
D A
* I only want to make a call but you're just bein' smart,
A E
* So you can stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse!
# Good morning I'm from Telecom come to disconnect the phone,
# For a breach of regulations just a couple of days ago.
# You upset our operator with a pretty nasty call.
* What are you fuckin' on about - it was all her fuckin' fault.
# Well she claims that it was all your fault, she really was distressed.
* What about your customers - she upset me first.
# We've got her written statement, which shortly will be read.
# But it might help if you'd recall exactly what you said.
* I said stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse,
* You're supposed to fuckin' help not make it fuckin' hard,
* I just tried to make a call but you just acted smart,
* So I said stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse!
# Well that's not exactly on sir, no it's just not on at all.
# You must use proper ettiquite if you wish to make a call.
# And please and thank you also help - you can't talk to her like that.
* Please and bloody thank you, well you fuckin' tell her that!
* And she knows without a telephone I'm really in the shit.
# Well perhaps if you'd apoligise that just might help a bit.
* Apoligise - apoligise - apoligise to who?
# Just go in and ask for Operator 42.
Now the song changes key - A=G
B=A
D=C
E=D
$ Good morning are you waiting is there something I can do?
* Yes I'd like to speak to Operator 42.
$ Sorry, sir, I missed that, could you repeat what you just said?
* OH SHIT I DON'T BELIEVE IT HERE WE FUCKIN' GO AGAIN!
* Operator 42 - look I'll just write it down!
$ Ooh, Operator 42 - I'll see if she's around.
* Jeez, they're bloody useless, I'm sure that they're all deaf,
* No wonder that I did me quince, no wonder that I said:
* Stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse,
* You're supposed to fuckin' help not make it fuckin' hard,
* I just want to make a call but you're just bein' smart,
* So stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse!
Now the song goes back to A
* Now they'll make me sit around and wait all bloody day,
* Just so they can make me sweat and have the final say.
* That's like the public service - they make you scrape & bow,
* Oh, shit she's fuckin' ugly if that's her coming now!
@ I'm Operator 42 - I'm busy, make it fast.
* Did a bloke tell you to stick that fuckin' phone right up your arse?
@ Yes he did, the filthy animal, I remember now.
* Well you'r better fuckin' brace yourself cause they're bringin' it around!
* And you can stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse,
* You're supposed to fuckin' help not make it fuckin' hard,
* I just tried to make a call but you just acted smart,
* So you can stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse!
* Stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse,
* You're supposed to fuckin' help not make it fuckin' hard,
* I just tried to make a call but you just acted smart,
* So you can stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse!
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